Parenting is an Art. Being a good parent
requires conscious efforts to mould your child in the right direction. What
parenting skills works for one child may not work for the other as each child
is different.
No parent is perfect. Same way no child is
perfect. A parent requires learning constantly from the child and accordingly
changing the parenting style as needed. Here are a few parenting skills which
will help you further.
1)
Show your love
Show your love. Showing your love
will not spoil your child but instead make him calm, secure and emotionally
stable. Loving your child can be as simple as
giving them hugs, spending time with them and listening to their issues
seriously.
2)
Appreciate the
positive behavior and not focusing on his negative behavior
Focus more on positive behavior
that the negative. The more you scold or punish the child, more likely the
child will repeat the negative behavior. Effective parenting is noticing the
child’s positive behavior and appreciating it daily whenever they see it.
3)
Yelling or spanking the
child does not help
When we yell at the child he
repeats the negative behavior. As he starts believing that he is a bad boy who
gets scolded and punished. So he is not motivated to change his behavior.
Secondly when we spank the child he
will start to lie as he does not want to get caught and get the spanking. Also
he learns violence as a solution to solve the problem. Children then act out
this behavior on other children.
So besides
spanking, there are many better alternatives, e.g. redirection, reasoning,
removing privileges, time-in, time-out, etc. You can choose the non-punitive
discipline method that works best for your child.
4)
Modeling
Practice what you preach. Children
are good observer and they do what they see you doing. Children imitate the
action so practice whatever you want the child to learn from you. So respect your child, show
them positive behavior and attitude, have empathy towards your child’s emotion
— and your child will follow your footsteps.
5)
Set boundaries
Parents have to set certain rules
and regulations. The child feels safer and more
secure knowing what he is and isn’t allowed to do. Set clear boundaries, those based on
your child’s best interests rather than trying to please him or avoid tantrums.
As uncomfortable as it may feel to put your foot down and be firm on what
boundaries you have set.
6)
Give the child
household responsibilities
Give the child responsibilities as
he learns a lot of life lessons like co operation, hard work, being responsible
by doing the duty. People who learn such lessons early in life are more likely
to become well-adjusted adults, confident and happier.
7)
Avoid helicopter
parenting by taking your child’s responsibility
When you do the work what the child
is supposed to do he tends to be less responsible and less confident. The child
has to learn to be confident, responsible, having problem solving skills, knows
what failure is in his adult life. So as parents let him make decision, let him
face failure so that he will be more responsible in his adult life.
8)
Positive Parenting
The babies have 100 billion neurons
that is brain cells which are not connected. The connection happen with the
kind of experience the child gets.
As parents we have to give positive
experience in form of singing, tickling the child, going to the park, laughing
with your child, solving a problem together with a positive attitude.
Negative experiences will not help
for the development of the child.
Not only do these positive
experiences create good connections in your child’s brain, but they also form
the memories of you that your child carries for life.
9)
Communicating with the
child
When the communication with the
child is open, the child will share his worry and problems with you. Talk the
troubling experience without giving any suggestion. Ask about how he felt in
the overall troubling experience he faced. Be a good listener and ask question
which will help them to integrate and solve the problems they face.
10) Spend time with the child
Usually parents want their child to
be responsible, caring, compassionate, independent, having meaningful relation
with you, living a happy and fulfilling life. How much time are you spending
with your child to achieve all these goals?
Instead of spending a lot of time
on daily routine, spend time with your child. Father also has to spend quality
time with the child.
11) Build a strong relation with your spouse
Usually when the child is born you
get less time to spend with your spouse. Take good care of your relation with the
spouse. Also take good care of yourself physically and mentally. If these two
areas fail, your child will suffer, too. As children from low-conflict families are happier and
more successful in the long run, as compared to children from high-conflict
families.
Progressive Youth program # Rinkal Karia # Directional Coach and Guide for Youth
